Turning Friction into Trust: A Proven Approach
When faced with a strained client relationship (or any relationship for that matter), the keys to turning a situation around are:
Listening with intention: Allowing people to share frustrations openly, in a safe and supportive manner. Let them know that it is a safe place and allow them space to share their frustrations without becoming defensive.
Know what is important: Understanding that “being right” is not always “right” — if you are going in with the intention of making a situation better then consider your approach. That is not to say that you take the blame, but you should be mindful of what is at stake and what is really important.
Transparent communication: Keeping them informed at every step. Yes, this might mean being more communicative than you normally would, but also don’t do it in a patronizing way; you are trying to regain trust — the best way to do that is to reduce the anxiety of the unknown by communicating more frequently.
Actionable follow-through: Addressing concerns with concrete solutions. Don’t just walk away with action items and decisions locked away in your own mind; be sure to send your client a summary of what was discussed (at least decisions and action items) and be sure that you actively follow up on those action items.
Early on in my career, when I was working at Bank of America, I faced a similar challenge with an internal client that I never met. I was hired to bring a level of strategy and organization to our team, but it was not till I started that I was informed about this “tricky” relationship. I was even warned that several had gone before me and all of them had failed. I had a choice on how to handle it.
I could have tried to dive in immediately and “fix the problems” or I could have tried to defend my team; instead, I just said “hey, tell me how you feel, tell me what is going on, I promise to not take any of it personally but if this is going to work I need to really know what you are thinking”. At first the sr manager warned me that I would not like what was abbott to be said, but I explained again, that “it’s all good, I am not going to say anything to anyone” and that my commitment was that this was a safe place. As expected, the opinion of the team and the organization was not the best, but I have experienced much worse back in the days of Boot Camp. When they were done, I thanked them for being honest and committed to making things right.
The overarching problem was not the software or systems or even the people — the problem was simply a lack of good change management; thankfully that was something easily fixable and afterwards our relationship, as well as their relationship with our team was turned completely around — it was a really good working and trusting relationship.
There are moments in everyone’s career that they look back on, moments that define what they do and how they do it. I am really glad that it worked out because that is a key moment that I take with me (at least try to) in every challenging situation.
Oh, and also….having good change management practices is really, really, important! Don’t underestimate the impact that this has on the success of your team.
